How I work:

My therapeutic goal is to help you develop a secure and enduring emotional connection with the people you love most.

I am an Emotionally Focused Therapist which is based on attachment theory. Attachment theory is relevant to all humans. Humans are social mammals that need each other’s help to sooth and co-regulate their nervous systems. We all have built in attachment needs, fears, and longings. When our needs, fears and longings are unmet and unprocessed we feel afraid and we feel pain. It is very common for couples and families to cope with attachment pain by getting stuck in negative and self reinforcing patterns of blame, attack, and/or  withdrawal.  Unfortunately this creates severe distress in the relationships that matter most to us leaving us feeling alone and questioning the viability of our relationships.

“Emotion is the messenger of love.” Kathryn Rheem PhD

In other words, humans connect by sharing and receiving each others most vulnerable and primary emotions.

With curiosity, care, focuss, and empathy, I will be looking at the different ways you interact and impact each other so that I can get to know you and the patterns you get stuck in. In our sessions I will help you to know what you feel on the inside and to share it with your loved ones in a way that they can hear and hold. 

Our work together will have two main stages:

1) Relationship stabilization and learning the reactive and habitual cycles you get stuck in

2) Building new patterns of emotional connection 

What you can achieve with relationship counseling:

• Learn the patterns you get caught in that creates conflict in your relationship
• Co-create new patterns of secure attachment that become a beautiful dance of connection and vitality
• Learn how to maintain a sense of self while staying connected 
• Learn how to communicate your emotions and needs with clear signals so that you are heard, felt, understood, and responded to at the core of your experience
• Learn how to listen, receive, feel, and engage with others emotions and needs at the core of their experience
• Develop rituals of closeness & connection
• Learn how to repair when there is a disruption in your relationships